22. Time moves on
I saw some of my high school teachers the other day and it was kind of a surreal experience. Seeing people who were, for a certain period of my life, a big deal. These were people who dictated a lot of my happiness and stress for a good few years.
I went over to them and started up a conversation; I don't know why, I was just interested to see their response, whether they remembered me, and how they were.
To be honest it was very anti-climactic.
At first, they barely recognised me. To be faired I'd gotten glasses, a moustache and an even weirder hairstyle since. I can't blame them. But after a few awkward looks, we got into a conversation. All the normal things were brought up-
'oh how are you doing?', 'what are you getting up to?', 'how's the family?'.
Ultimately quite a mundane conversation.
One thing that I got from the conversation was a big highlight of just how quickly time passes but also how it is so slow at the same time.
My teachers remembered me but ultimately they were part of a completely separate part of my life which is foreign and historic to me now. I'd gotten older, they'd gotten older. I'd moved on and yet they remained there.
Time moves on but I guess you have to choose where you want to reside in that time.
It's crazy to think about because time never stops. I'm not the person I was 5 minutes ago, hence why intentionality is so important. You are using your finite resource up on whatever your present focus is.
To my teachers, that meant staying where they were, however, for me I couldn't wait to get out of school.
I was also thinking about how when I was in school everything did feel like a big deal. I thought that exams were the be all and end all and the world was going to end with small school squabbles.
Seeing my teachers reminded me that I just need to take a step back.
What often feels momentous is merely a blip in the grand scheme of things. I've moved away from the notion that moments define us but rather it is our lived experience and continuous choices that sculpt us.
Going about with more of this mindset I am trying to learn to be grateful for the things I encounter. Good or bad, they are fleeting, they won't last long, nor do I know how much time I have left. I need to recognise the lessons to be learnt in them and how they will help prepare me for the future.
This is easier said than done- currently lived moments are hard to look beyond, especially if you don't have the best view of yourself.
I've found speaking to mates and hearing the truth spoken to me about myself is so helpful. Knowing that I have been through similar situations before or just getting out my own head and realise this is all temporary.
The temptation I personally find is to stay idle in my woes.
Some periods in life are so fast but other moments call for you to be stationary where you are. Saving money for that new house, completing your studies, waiting for corona to end.
Yet, there is a difference between idle waiting and active waiting.
Fully recognising the idea that we have a short life and time moves on is a heck of a motivator. Sometimes the extra time in the stillness is required for you to actively prepare your heart for when an opportunity does arrive.
Similarly, when we are in situations we don't like, don't have to be, nor is it serving a bigger purpose to help us- it's worth considering other options.
It's easy to get comfortable with saying, 'I don't have any other options'
90% of the time you do have choices, it's just that change can be uncomfortable.
Remember there is pain both ways; "The pain of staying where you are vs the pain of change".
Time moves on, make the most of it.