4. Owning failures

I can be quite an emotional person; ups and downs, successes and failures, good and bad- I feel them quite deeply.

However, there is often the misconception (especially as a guy) to keep this locked in. Don’t get me wrong, there has to be a level by which you guard your heart and work out when is appropriate to indulge in sharing these emotions but you have to be able to speak these things out with transparency.

The same can be said with how we view successes and failures.

It is through honesty and vulnerability that people can be drawn together.

I’ve found this similar in places I worked or friendships I’ve been in.

If you are quick to own your loss and slow to blame others will follow suit. People trust each other more.

Out of trust comes a safe environment by which creativity flows due to the feel of failure being subsided. People aren’t looking around worried about what to do or whether they are wrong. And even if they do mess up it’s okay.

But you want to be a big tough guy or the leader of the group- surely you should hold stuff together? And to a certain extent yes you should, however, this doesn’t alleviate you from saying where you failed, are failing, or simply need help.

Attempts to hide these losses promotes others to hide theirs. Why would a friend want to share their insecurities with you when your life seems like an Instagram highlight reel?

Both in work and personal life hiding emotions doesn’t allow space for trust and inevitably your goals- whether that be a deep friendship, hard work, creativity- go down the drain.

“The fear of failure pushes people to become more concerned with looking good than actually being good”- Chris Baca