29. First impressions

You never get a second chance to make a first impression.

We want to think that people don’t judge us or we think because we’d act a certain way all other people must be like that. That is completely untrue.

Whether intentionally or not we are formulating an understanding of the people in front of us.

We are a people hungry to share our thoughts, as more often than not, we believe our views to hold more weight. I recognise this within myself. There is a new tv show- I want to throw my opinions in the ring. I think it is a desire to be recognised maybe.

The desire to be having lots of these first impressions and be the provider of the information is unhealthy if that is all you are doing and if it is for selfish desires like mentioned prior. Rather I’ve found approaching situations with no preconceived notions about certain people groups, places, or actions nor seeking out these ‘new things’ but rather waiting for these to come across my path. From here I try and be my most genuine self.

That is the temptation I think- to become the antithesis of who we actually are simply to be the person that makes ‘others’ happy.

Then all knowledge people have of you will be a detached facade that is so removed from your ‘genuine self’ that all the words were spoken to you just won’t inspire or help you.

Yet it is in our most honest display of ourselves that we are most vulnerable. Whether it be in a work setting, friendship or family dynamic there often has to be recognition of that culture of honesty and genuine sharing before the new party member feels ‘safe’ to fully share themselves- but it comes from the people who were there first.

I started a new job this week. It was really good actually and I think I made a good impression. I had some nice conversations and it was sweet as I received a few remarks about being ‘funny’. I was happy to bring a smile to a few people’s faces.

People will perceive you often different from how you view yourself.

You can’t control that- people will always view you differently but what you can do is control how you hold yourself.

So an impression I wanted was to be friendly, chatty, and involved in the work environment.

Once you have done the things you can control to the best ability you need to let go of everything else that occurs. Whatever happens, happens. You can be content because you have done your bit.

This frees up space up in your mind, you almost don’t care what other people think, you don’t stress as much.

Then the laser focus is on the small number of things you can control.

First impressions are something you can be scared of or something you can lean into. Recognising that people are probably going to judge you if you are new but you have the ability to counteract that by being genuine and focussing on the things you can control.

So are you going to lean in or resist?