44. Sitting on the fence
Your actions shouldn’t confuse people with what you believe.
In being distinctive and clear in what you want you not only save time but you attract people who are that way inclined too. When sitting on the fence you are bundled together with people who actually have lots of different opinions but aren’t brave enough to step out. The result of this is that you often feel misunderstood by the rest of the world.
That is not the case though. You have simply not stepped into your particular niche of the world.
Good at lots of things only gets you so far. The master of none mentality is that of an undecided person.
The notion that we have to be 100% confident in all our decisions, relationships, and endeavors is a fallacy.
The thing we do have to recognise is that for true happiness we have to be okay being lonely, getting things wrong, and potentially offending people in experimenting with our hearts desire- all the while being okay in admitting defeat and starting all over again at a moments notice.
However, in my experience the more I dig into my own opinions, the more I am distinctive, the more I move away from the fence- the better I feel.
Sitting on the fence is a comfortable snowball effect that compounds the older you get. You feel you can’t think radically, pursue a new hobby, or enter a new relationship as you have always remained in your safe middle ground.
As the Chinese proverb says: “The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.”
You need to start before you are ready and be radical. As long as you know your why, you can’t really go wrong as failure is inevitable either way.
Regret is worse than rejection. But both sting.
It is this fear of rejection that denies people fully embodying their full genuine self and instead of taking on a more PG version that everyone likes.
You attract the wrong people if you aren’t clear in what you believe and spend a lot of wasted energy along the way.
Saying all this being okay with speaking with people on the opposite side of the spectrum, people sitting on the fence, and with others who believe what you believe is necessary.
Learning from all walks of life actually solidifies your own belief and gives you a sense of empathy for the other side.
A lack of this can lead you to idolise sitting on the fence when in reality you would hate being there but you just are having a rough spot where you currently are- The grass is always greener elsewhere.
Struggles, suffering, and rejection are inevitable responses everywhere but the question is are you willing to take it for being your full genuine self or are you going to take it for a shadow, sitting on the fence version of yourself?
The choice is yours.